


再見 (Goodbye)

by AeonWing



Category: League of Legends RPF
Genre: Angst, Goodbyes, Implied Relationships, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-29
Updated: 2017-04-29
Packaged: 2018-10-25 11:30:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10763361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AeonWing/pseuds/AeonWing
Summary: 再見: Goodbye, Farewell, Adieu, which is exactly what PoE is coming to terms with regarding KaKAO





	再見 (Goodbye)

**Author's Note:**

> Just to express my sadness at kakao leaving >.>
> 
> Hope you enjoy, and hope it doesn't hurt you as much as it hurt me while writing

Tristan let out a sigh, staring hard at the hardwood floor. The room was inhumanly cold, despite the rising temperatures as spring fleeted, replaced by summer. This wasn’t his room, but rather Byungkwon’s, who surely would be returning soon. Tying up loose ends, saying farewell. All the things Tristan knew were surely coming, but didn’t want to acknowledge.

The closet was empty, as were all the drawers. Any and everything Byungkwon surely owned, surely brought with him, had all been neatly packed up. Clothes, souvenirs, gifts. It was as if everything was gone, sealed away in that impossibly small piece of luggage. The room felt desolate.

Tristan would be lying to himself if he said he wasn’t blindsided by this. Joining a team freshly promoted from challenger, to making playoff contention, reverse sweeping Splyce. They weren’t nothing. Those accomplishments didn’t mean nothing. And surely, neither did their time together.

But when Byungkwon broke the news, he remembered being dumbfounded, shocked, even angry. Those emotions then still existed now. It was difficult to say farewell, but perhaps this was for the best. If not for himself, then surely for Byungkwon. He could only imagine how much difficulty the young Korean had while adapting to a new environment. Maybe he’d have _more_ success elsewhere. Maybe he’d return to Korea. Maybe he wouldn’t need Tristan anymore.

It hurt to think about it, and hurt to imagine a team without him. “Kakao” may have been a great player, but “Byungkwon” was a shining beacon of positivity. He hadn’t imagined the pieces to finally fit together only to be ripped apart once again.

What were the signs? Could he have expected this? Could he have prepared, softened the blow that still stung and stung, more and more? Tristan had no answer, running a hand through his dark locks in frustration, yielding the same result time and time again.

He had not expected this.

It was simple. It was obvious.

But it still hurt.

 

Suddenly, his phone lit up, followed by a soft buzz.

 

_(12: 04) Byungkwon: I almost home, we say goodbye_

Although the English was broken and imperfect, it was what defined Byungkwon. It was the cutest and most adorable thing about him. It was something he’d forever miss, and the message, meant to show he still cared, only made Tristan’s chest tighten uncomfortably.

He didn’t want this.

 

_Why Byungkwon, why?_

He suddenly felt the need to cry, but held it down, held it back. He didn’t want to cry in front of Byungkwon. It wouldn’t bring any good, it would just make their inevitable separation and goodbye that much harder.

So he endured, held tight. Held on like never before for one last time.

It was only a few minutes until he heard the familiar sound of the turn of the door knob, revealing Byungkwon’s soft expression. Tristan smiled at him, followed by a short nod. It felt forced, fake in every way, but he could only hope it _looked_ believable. For a split second, he saw a million emotions flash across his jungler’s face, only for all of it to disappear, once more replaced by manufactured composure.

 

_Just say it._

“Hey,” he whispered, taking care not to meet Byungkwon’s gaze too strongly. Holding eye contact felt impossible, as if the slightest line of sight would break all the shields he spent so long building up.

“Hey,” Byungkwon whispered back, taking slow steps towards the luggage. It was still difficult for Tristan to fully pick apart everything through that adorable Korean accent, but even he could hear the unease in his jungler’s voice. Just one word said everything.

 

_Just say it Byungkwon._

 

“Let me help you with that,” Tristan murmured. Seeing the Korean struggle with the luggage was unexpected. It was heavy, no doubt, but not that heavy. Tristan could only imagine, only guess what was wrong behind that practiced smile and those trembling arms.

He could only imagine how difficult this was for Byungkwon as well.

 

_Just say it._

“Okay,” the Korean whispered back, letting go of the luggage, his hand brushing by Tristan’s in the process. It brought a shiver down Tristan’s spine. It wasn’t the first time it happened, but now it surely felt like the last. Every memory of them together flashed in front of him in that instant, only for it to be replaced by a dull sense of emptiness and longingness.

Everything was coming to an end.

No more touches, laughs, hugs.

Without a word, he made his way down to the front door, only the sound of Byungkwon’s trailing footsteps to let him know that he wasn’t alone. That this really would be the end. But to his surprise, the boy stopped. They were at the front door, but Byungkwon had stopped.

_Just say it._

“Do you….” He began, his breath hitching ever so slightly. A million words in his mind, only a few would come out. “…Really have to leave?”

Followed by Byungkwon’s choked reply. “Yes.”

 

_Of course, he does._

If speaking was difficult before, then it was impossible now. As if he had a knot in his throat. Tristan sighed, turning around to finally meet Byungkwon’s gaze. The boy had a small, sad smile on his lips, but there was no surprise in his eyes.

 

_So this is how it ends._

He saw this one coming.

“I will always… missing you though,” Byungkwon whispered. It was barely audible, but it spoke volumes.

Tristan hadn’t expected that.

No explanation, no words, no sense. For Byungkwon to act like this, now of all times. Or maybe it was the aching in his chest suddenly flaring again.

Byungkwon was just a colleague, just his teammate. That’s what he told himself, that’s what he wanted to convince himself of. But he wasn’t. He was more than that. So many unspoken words, so many undone actions.

The tears that he had held back for so long became imminent. He didn’t want to cry. Not now, not like this. And so he did the only thing he knew how to do. He buried his face in the crook of the Korean’s neck, gently taking the boy into a soft embrace like so many times before. That warm figure that would not betray him, even in departure. The familiarity that he’d miss and miss forever.

So many things Tristan wanted to say, but couldn’t.

He wished he could say it all. Untampered by translation, untampered by barriers. But the words are all in German, and even if Byungkwon could understand it, he knew the words could never leave the depths of his mind.

They were unspoken, but not unheard.

Because that hug said anything and everything they had to say to one another.

 

_“Don’t leave.”_

_“I have to.”_

_“No. You don’t.”_

_“Yes I do, Tristan.”_

_“Why? Why, Byungkwon, why?”_

_“Because I have to.”_

_“Why do you have to? Why? Why?”_

_“I’m sorry, Tristan.”_

_…_

_“I’m sorry too.”_

But time unfroze, and they were brought to their knees. And so Tristan could only avert his gaze, hoping his tears were not too obvious, that it wouldn’t have to make this any harder than it already was. Byungkwon didn’t deserve to see this. He didn’t deserve to suffer too.

And so he let go. Without a look back, he finally let go. Let him depart.. So many things unsaid, so many things left undone. But none of it mattered anymore in this last, final farewell. There wouldn’t be a next time, wouldn’t be a next chance.

Because Byungkwon didn’t need him. Not anymore.

As Tristan closed his eyes, he saw Byungkwon’s own, staring right back at him. The first time they had met, standing right at this very door.

 

_“Hello, I’m Byungkwon,” he introduced himself, smiling sweetly at him._

_“I’m Tristan, nice to meet you.”_

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to onlypreciousloves for betaing this ^^


End file.
